Why Connection Matters When You’re Overloaded: Insights from the APA Stress in America 2025 Report

Every year, stress rises as we head toward the holidays.

But this year? The weight feels different.

When Everything Feels Heavy, There’s a Reason

According to the APA Stress in America 2025 Report, working moms are carrying more emotional strain, more loneliness, and more day-to-day overwhelm than ever, even if life looks “fine” from the outside.

If last week’s blog on The Holiday Mental Load: Why Everything Feels Heavier Right Now resonated, this is the next layer. Because what’s happening isn’t just holiday stress.

It’s disconnection + cognitive overload + emotional exhaustion, all happening at the same time. What a fun combo, eh?

The Hidden Stressors We’re Not Talking About

1. Loneliness Is Quietly Rising, Even When You’re Surrounded by People

Holidays amplify loneliness for many people, including working women.

The APA report notes that feelings of isolation, emotional disconnection, and “lack of belonging” have increased, especially for parents who feel responsible for keeping family traditions a positive emotional climate afloat.

As working moms, we carry:

• the invisible emotional glue that keeps our families together

• the relationship maintenance for friends, family, and community

• the calendar coordination for our endless (although usually fun) plans

• the gift-buying, planning, remembering…and in my case, notoriously forgetting something until about 2 hours before the event

When you’re overwhelmed, connection becomes harder and sometimes feels like the easiest thing to cut - yet it’s the very thing you need most.

2. A Season of Social Division Adds Emotional Weight

The report also highlights a growing sense of tension and social fragmentation.

Many moms feel like they can’t talk openly with friends, family, or coworkers about what they’re thinking like they used to be able to do.

That constant “self-editing” takes energy - the emotional kind that’s already spread thin.

This makes connection feel riskier and more draining… so many women simply opt out.

3. The Background Hum of Uncertainty

Economic anxieties, political instability, global events, and even rapid technological change (AI included) are contributing to a kind of ambient stress - subtle, constant, cumulative.

Even if you’re not consciously thinking about these issues, your brain is tracking them in the background.

Combine that with your everyday mental load, and your bandwidth shrinks fast.

How This Shows Up in Your Brain Office

Your executive functioning system - as we refer to here as your “Brain Office” - feels this season acutely.

Patricia, Your CEO (Planning, Big Picture)

She’s trying to hold holiday logistics, work deadlines, and long-term worries simultaneously.
No wonder she feels foggy, reactive, or scattered.

Sydney, Your Customer Service (aka Flexibility) Manager

She struggles when plans shift (which they always do in November/December).
Low bandwidth = low adaptability.

Wendy, Your Executive (akaWorking Memory) Assistant

When overloaded, she can’t keep track of reminders, which is why you may notice more forgetfulness or fog.

If this sounds familiar, you might also appreciate:
Why You Feel Mentally Foggy All The Time (And How to Clear It).

Penelope, Your Project (aka Prioritizing) Manager

Everything feels urgent.
Everything feels important.
This leads to spinning, procrastination, or frustration instead of strategically prioritizing what needs to get done.

The APA’s Biggest Finding: Connection Lowers Stress Better Than Almost Anything

But ironically…

When we’re the most overwhelmed, connection is the first thing we drop.

• We cancel plans

• We isolate to “get things done”

• We don’t text back

• We avoid vulnerability

• We feel emotionally tired before the day even starts

This creates a loop:

Less connection → more stress → less connection.

But here’s the hopeful part:
You don’t need big social commitments (thank goodness, says any of my fellow introverts).

You need micro-connection moments.

Three Tiny Connection Rituals to Lighten the Load

1. The 20-Second Reach-Out

Text someone you’ve been thinking about.
This does not have to be a full blown conversation, just warmth.

"Thinking of you today. Hope you're okay."
Simple. Meaningful. Regulating.

I literally just stopped writing and sent one to check in on a friend who has been struggling as I wrote this. You can too.

2. Structured Connection Rituals

This is my favorite because it is perfect for keeping up with relationships while also lowering the cognitive load of remembering to schedule.

When you finish a meetup (even a quick one), schedule the next one immediately.

Future-you doesn’t appreciate the emotional labor of planning and more than likely, just won’t do it. This has been the secret to one of my longest standing dinner dates with a friend who I used to work with and would never get to see if we didn’t plan ahead (I think we’re going on 7 years now). It works.

3. Protect Your Connection Bandwidth

You can’t connect deeply when your mind is drowning.
Try offloading anything and everything you can:

• lists

• reminders

• organizational tasks

• repetitive decisions

• household management

Use:

• automation

• shared calendars

• AI tools (I know…it’s a slippery slope with this one, but it can be a lifesaver)

• simple planning rituals

This creates space for presence with the people that you want to connect with.

To support this in your everyday life with sustainability, you may want to revisit:
Creating Routines That Actually Stick (Spoiler Alert: They Need to Be Flexible)

I’ll Leave You With This…

Connection really does matter.
And tiny, intentional reach-outs can soften even the heaviest seasons.

If you want gentle support, weekly tools, and first access to my Brain Office Blueprint™ mini course launching in January, join my newsletter.

We’ll get through this together. Hopefully with a few laughs and some community of likeminded women.

While Dr. Liz is a licensed psychologist, the information provided by Empowered Focus, LLC is intended solely for educational and informational purposes. Services offered and any materials provided by Empowered Focus, LLC are NOT a substitute for mental health therapy and do NOT establish a psychologist-patient relationship. Individuals seeking mental health therapy or clinical support should contact a qualified mental health professional in their area. A helpful directory for locating licensed providers in your area can be found at Psychology Today.