Why You Feel Mentally Foggy All the Time (and How to Clear It)
Have You Ever Walked Into a Room and Forgotten Why?
You head into the kitchen to grab coffee filters, but when you get there, you stand in front of the cabinet blinking — what did I come in here for again? (True story from this morning).
Or maybe you’ve been reading the same paragraph in a book for five minutes and still have no idea what it said.
This isn’t just about being tired. And it’s not a personal flaw. What you’re experiencing is something sometimes called mental fog.
It’s that feeling of trying to operate when your brain is like a browser with 37 tabs open — and none of them are responding. You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. This is incredibly common for women in midlife, especially high-achieving working moms who are managing so much. And it hits all of us- whether or not we identify with clinical diagnoses like ADHD (although that certainly is likely to make things a bit tougher).
Let’s talk about what’s really going on inside your mind — and what you can do to “clear some space.”
What Is Mental Fog, Really?
Mental fog — sometimes called brain fog — shows up as:
Forgetting what you were just doing
Losing your train of thought mid-sentence
Struggling to focus on what’s in front of you
Feeling scattered, even when you’re sitting still
Here’s the news that is essential to understand: this is NOT a sign of laziness. And it’s definitely not a character flaw.
Mental fog is a signal that your brain is trying to run too many processes at once — and it’s low on available bandwidth. You’re mentally overloaded.
***Disclaimer here- if you’re experiencing really intense mental fog that’s out of the ordinary, talk with your doctor who can rule out any other possible cause. I’m not an MD and what I’m talking about is the “ordinary” mental fog that us overworked mamas get that’s a sign of spinning too many plates at once. Not something more serious…
The Hidden Mental Load That’s Clouding Your Mind
Here’s the thing: mental fog isn’t just about the current task in front of you. It’s about everything your brain is carrying at once. Real life examples of the stuff floating around in my head right now:
Remembering appointments- did we schedule the kids’ well child check? Oh great- now it’s a 6 month wait…
Anticipating your child’s schedule- did we schedule a trip the same weekend as the soccer tournament? I need to remember to email the coach.
Did I call my dad (or mom or brother or sister…you get the idea) back?
Did anyone feed the dog this morning (at 3:30 pm from my work office)?
It’s a silent to-do list that never stops running in the background.
This is where your working memory comes in — a part of the brain involved in executive function. Think of it like your kitchen counter: it holds information temporarily while you use it. But there’s only so much room on that counter. Especially if you live in a 1929 Cape Cod like I do.
If you’re trying to make dinner while answering a work email and remembering that you still need to order party favors for your kid’s birthday party this weekend, your mental kitchen counter gets crowded. Fast.
Over time, the clutter builds — and the fog rolls in.
Midlife, Hormones, and the Cognitive Load of being a badass mama
If you’re in your late 30s to early 50s, you may also be navigating subtle (or not-so-subtle) hormonal changes — shifts in estrogen and progesterone that affect sleep, mood, and cognition. Combine that with increased work responsibilities, aging parents, and the emotional weight of caregiving, and you’ve got a perfect storm for fog.
According to The Menopause Society, cognitive changes like forgetfulness and reduced concentration are common during perimenopause and menopause — and they’re real, not imagined.
So it’s not surprising that high-functioning, capable women can suddenly feel like their minds can’t keep up.
Why It’s Especially Hard for Working Moms
We live in a culture that rewards multitasking — and working moms are expected to do it all.
But here’s the truth: multitasking is a myth. According to research summarized by the American Psychological Association, switching between tasks actually reduces productivity and increases cognitive fatigue.
And beyond the logistics of keeping it all together, there’s an emotional load too:
Worrying about your child’s struggles at school
Feeling guilt for missing the school play for a business trip
Playing out the “what ifs” in your head about signs of a parent aging
You’ve worked hard to build a meaningful career and a fulfilling life. But now your brain feels like it’s buckling under the pressure.
It’s not that you can’t handle it — it’s that your mental load has maxed out your capacity.
3 Real-Life Strategies to Clear the Fog (That Don’t Require Meditating on a Mountain…but wouldn’t that be fun?)
Meditation is great. But let’s be honest: sometimes you need a strategy you can actually use on a Wednesday afternoon between meetings and after-school pickup.
Here are three that work:
1. Externalize the Invisible
Your brain wasn’t meant to store everything. Start writing down what’s swirling in your mind — not just to remember it, but to offload it. I call this a BRAIN DUMP (I’m a big fan of fancy terms, what can I say?)
Use a notebook, your Notes app, a whiteboard — it doesn’t matter.
Write down whatever is in your mind with the purpose of just making the abstract more concrete- this does not need to be pretty or organized.
Make it a habit to dump out your thoughts once a day.
(Bonus use): This is one of my absolute favorite strategies for racing thoughts that show up when you’re trying to fall asleep. Keep a notepad and pen next to your bed just for this purpose.
Think of it as clearing your kitchen counter so you can actually cook rather than pushing stuff out of way until you have a postage stamp size spot to cut the veggies and everything is falling on the floor.
2. Simplify Decision-Making
Every decision — big or small — takes up mental energy. So reduce the number of daily decisions by putting some on autopilot:
Capsule wardrobes (do a quick little search on Pinterest and you’ll find loads of ideas that take the guesswork out of getting ready in the morning)
Meal planning on Sunday (annoying? yes. game changer for the week? also yes.)
Default routines like always doing admin tasks for work at the same time each day
Batching decisions frees up your brain to think more clearly.
3. Build in Mental Breathing Room
Find small windows of time during your day to pause — without an agenda.
Stare out the window for a couple minutes
Sit with your coffee and daydream for a few minutes
Take a walk around the block without listening to anything or checking your phone
These “neutral zones” give your brain a chance to reset. Just five minutes can make a noticeable difference.
And if you need permission to do this: here it is.
It’s Not Your Fault — But It Is Your Time to Reset
You are smart. You are capable. You are not broken.
You are a working mom living in an overloaded world, with a mind that’s doing too much behind the scenes — without the support it needs.
You don’t need to overhaul your whole life to feel better. You just need to think differently about how you manage your mental space.
At Empowered Focus, we help working moms reset their mental load and reclaim their clarity.
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Your brain deserves breathing room. Let’s give it the space it needs to thrive.
Disclaimer: While Dr. Liz is a licensed psychologist, the information provided herein is intended solely for educational purposes. Services offered by Empowered Focus, LLC are not to be considered a substitute for mental health therapy. Individuals requiring mental health therapy are advised to seek support from a qualified mental health provider in their respective localities. A valuable resource for locating such providers is Psychology Today.