Banishing the Perfectionism Goblin: Let’s Get Real This Halloween

Usually the Christmas season takes the cake when it comes to perfectionism.

Gorgeously decorated trees, drool-worthy photos of sugar cookies, and holiday feasts that look like whoever posted the pics hired a private chef for their meal (hmmm..maybe they did).

But dang it- Halloween triggers the same perfectionism sparks as any other holiday where decorating is involved. Halloween may be spooky, but for many working moms, the scariest part isn’t the ghosts and goblins. It’s actually the pressure to make everything perfect. From Pinterest-worthy costumes to elaborate class party snacks and flawless home décor, perfectionism can sneak in like an unwanted monster under the bed.

The truth? That “Perfectionism Goblin” drains your energy, steals your joy, and leaves you feeling exhausted by the time the first trick or treater rings your doorbell. The good news is that you don’t have to give it power. Here are five ways to banish the perfectionism goblin and create a fun Halloween that feels lighter and more meaningful.

1. Simplify Costumes- Let’s Bring Back the Simple Sheet Ghost Costume

Instead of sewing the perfect costume (or in my case, burning my fingers with a glue gun because I am NOT busting out a sewing machine), consider creative shortcuts: a themed hoodie, a DIY prop, or reusing pieces you already own. Kids usually care more about the fun of dressing up than whether their costume looks exactly like the one you saw on Instagram. 

I absolutely LOVE some of these ideas for last minute costumes (check out the cereal killer). The psychologist in me loves the Freudian slip idea too- if you’re feeling brave (or live in a warm climate).  The bottom line is make it FUN- to make and to wear.

2. Rethink Parties and Snacks

If you’re asked to contribute to a classroom party, give yourself permission to buy store-bought treats or choose the simplest option. You don’t need homemade, pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies to be a great mom. Let’s be honest- kids like candy, so you don’t have to make a bigger deal out of it then you want. Buy a bag of fun size chocolates and call it a day.

There was a time in my life when I had endless hours to spend searching for decorations and planning out parties.  If that brings you joy, then go for it.  But if it just feels like one more thing you “have to do,” let it go.  And speaking of joy…that brings me to my next point.

3. Decorate for Joy, Not Approval

Your home doesn’t need to look like a Martha Stewart or Better Homes and Gardens seasonal magazine spread. Choose one or two things you actually enjoy, like carving pumpkins, hanging a wreath, or setting out a few playful decorations, and just skip the rest.  Personally, I really enjoy curating a tiny graveyard in my front lawn where we have some overgrown native plants.  The hour I spend on that every year brings me joy.  But honestly, I have yet to have anyone other than my husband comment on how it looks… and that is OK with me because I look forward to it every year. In fact I may go work on that here in a minute…

4. Let Go of Comparison

I have a great picture in my therapy office that says “Comparison is the thief of joy” (sadly, I don’t know who to credit with that quote- but thank you to whoever said that first).  Scrolling through social media can summon the perfectionism goblin fast. Remember, those highlight reels rarely show the stress and mess behind the scenes. Focus on your own family’s joy rather than comparing yourself to curated snapshots.  Because seriously, someone is always going to one up you. 

I fall victim to the Perfectionism Goblin all of the time…in fact I almost didn’t post this because I figured that someone else probably already wrote a better article (probably true…).  So even a seasoned professional in mental health over here has to fight the goblins too.

5. Choose Memories Over Masterpieces

At the end of the day, your kids won’t remember whether the cookies were homemade or if the house was the scariest one on the block. They’ll remember laughing while carving pumpkins, trick-or-treating with friends, and sneaking candy after bedtime. Lean into those moments and try to remember what really matters this Halloween. 

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But for now…trick or treat my lovelies and be sure to eat too much candy.

Disclaimer: While Dr. Liz is a licensed psychologist, the information provided herein is intended solely for educational purposes. Services offered by Empowered Focus, LLC are not to be considered a substitute for mental health therapy. Individuals requiring mental health therapy are advised to seek support from a qualified mental health provider in their respective localities. A valuable resource for locating such providers is Psychology Today.