woman with short hair with confused look on her face a if she has brain fog — Have you ever walked into a room and completely forgotten why you’re there?

Stared at your inbox until the words blur?

Or said, “My brain just isn’t braining like it used to” (you know braining is a very technical term…ha!)?

If so, you’re not alone.

For a lot of women in their 40s and 50s - especially working moms juggling careers, families, and aging parents - that foggy, scattered feeling isn’t just “getting older.” It’s your brain asking for a break.

When “I Used to Be So Sharp” Becomes “Why Can’t I Remember Anything?”

I hear this all the time from my coaching clients:

“I used to be on top of everything. Now I can’t even remember what I came downstairs for.”

That mental fog - forgetting why you opened a browser tab, losing your train of thought mid-sentence, feeling like your focus has evaporated - is often a mix of burnout, stress overload, and perimenopause (and for some women, other reasons, like ADHD or some combination of these things).

As hormones fluctuate, estrogen levels impact the parts of the brain that manage memory, focus, and planning. The result? You may feel like your once-organized, multitasking brain suddenly short-circuits.

There’s a clinical name for this executive function skill- working memory - but let’s be honest: most of us just call it “brain fog.”

Working memory is basically your brain’s “counter space.” It’s where you set things down mentally while you figure out what to do next. When that space gets crowded - by stress, lack of sleep, hormonal shifts, and nonstop demands - it’s no wonder things start falling off the edge.

The Perfect Storm: Career Pressure + Family Needs + Hormone Shifts

A friend of mine is what I call the poster child for burnout.

She’s a high-performing midlife mom with a demanding career. She manages a huge team, makes her company millions, and still runs her household like clockwork.

On paper, she’s thriving.

In reality, she’s working 60-hour weeks, skipping sleep, and wondering why she feels like she’s constantly one step behind.

She’s also part of the sandwich generation - caring for both kids and aging parents. So even when she’s not “at work,” she’s still on duty, trying to problem solve and find solutions to not only her own problems, but those of the many people who depend on her.

When your brain and body are already under that much stress, it’s nearly impossible to function at your best. You can’t expect your brain to focus, remember, or plan clearly when your nervous system is constantly in fight-or-flight mode.

You Can’t “Hack” Burnout Away

This is where so many high-achieving women get stuck.

We think: I’ll just find the right productivity trick or morning routine. Maybe I need to start exercising again.

And sure, those things can help - but not if you’re already stretched so thin that adding one more “should” to your day just makes you want to cry.

You can’t stack new habits on top of burnout.

You can’t out-organize a body that’s begging for rest.

And you definitely can’t “self-discipline” your way out of perimenopausal fatigue.

The first step isn’t adding - it’s subtracting.

Step One: Take Something Off Your Plate

Before you reach for the next “fix,” pause.
Ask yourself:

👉 What’s one thing I can let go of today?

Not add - let go of.

Maybe it’s skipping a meeting that doesn’t actually need you.
Ordering takeout instead of cooking from scratch.
Saying no to one volunteer task.

Your brain - and your body - need breathing room.

Even a 20-minute pocket of unstructured time can start to reset your nervous system.

Take a short walk without your phone.
Sit in your car and breathe before heading inside.
Do something that lets your brain rest instead of perform.

You don’t need to earn your rest. You need to protect it.

Meet Wendy Malone, Your Overworked Executive Assistant

If you’ve followed along with my Brain Office analogy, you’ve already met Wendy Malone, the Executive Assistant who manages all your mental to-dos.
She’s the one juggling grocery lists, work deadlines, school schedules, and doctor appointments - all at the same time.

Lately, though, Wendy’s looking a little frazzled.

She’s got sticky notes everywhere, her inbox is overflowing, and she’s running purely on caffeine and adrenaline.

That’s what happens when your working memory - the part of your brain that temporarily holds and organizes information long enough that you can do something with it- gets overworked or under-supported. And in perimenopause and chronic stress, Wendy’s job becomes almost impossible without help.

So how do we support her?

Simple Ways to Help Wendy (and Your Brain) Focus Again

These aren’t “do more” tips - they’re “do less, but smarter” ones.

Each helps clear space on Wendy’s desk so she can actually think again.

🗂️ 1. Externalize Everything

Don’t rely on your brain to hold every detail.

Use visual reminders: a notebook, a notes app, or a dry-erase board by your door.
If you think it, write it down.

You’re not forgetful - you’re outsourcing so your mental assistant can breathe.

🕒 2. Batch Your Tasks

Wendy works best when she can focus on one category at a time.

Try grouping similar tasks - emails, errands, planning - into short bursts.

This keeps your brain from constantly context-switching, which is like making Wendy sprint between ten meetings at once.

🧘 3. Use “Reset Routines”

When you lose track of what you were doing (we all do!), have a gentle reset ritual:

Take a deep breath, look around the room, and ask, “What was I working on before this?”

Even saying it out loud helps your brain re-anchor.

Wendy just needs a moment to find the right sticky note again.

📱 4. Set Cues, Not Just Goals

Reminders and alarms aren’t weakness- they’re teamwork for your brain.

Set repeating alerts for key routines: meds, meals, meetings, movement.

Each cue helps Wendy redirect her attention before she drops another mental ball.

🌿 5. Give Her a Break

Your Executive Assistant can’t work 24/7.

Support your working memory by giving your whole system small recovery windows: 20 minutes without stimulation, a short walk outside, or a quiet coffee alone.

When your nervous system resets, so does Wendy.

Your Brain Isn’t Broken—It’s Overloaded

If you’ve been blaming yourself for feeling foggy, forgetful, or unfocused, please hear this:

You are not lazy. You are not losing it. You are overextended.

And yes, your brain is changing. But that doesn’t mean you’re falling apart. It means your system needs care and recalibration.

Once you start meeting your basic needs again (think sleep, food that nourishes you, quiet moments for your mind) you’ll be in a better place to layer on strategies that support your brain, not punish it.

Try This: The 20-Minute Reset

🕒 Step away from your desk (or your kids, or your kitchen).
📱 Leave your phone behind if you can.
🌿 Do something that helps your body feel safe and grounded: walk, stretch, breathe, look outside.

That’s it.
No perfection, no tracking, no app required.

Just you, giving your brain permission to not “brain” for a little while.

You Deserve More Than Survival Mode

You’ve spent years giving 110%: to your job, your family, your community.

Now it’s time to give even a fraction of that energy back to yourself.

Because burnout isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a warning sign.

And you don’t have to wait until your brain fully checks out to start reclaiming your energy and focus.

If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear what you took off your plate today.

And if you need quick, realistic ideas to recharge, tune into the Weeknight Chaos podcast. My friend Ila and I share short “self-care snacks” for real-life moms who don’t have an extra hour to spare, but miss the way they used to feel curious and creative in their everyday lives.

Your brain isn’t broken. It’s just tired.

And you deserve the space to rest and reset.

If you’re feeling stretched thin right now, remember: you don’t have to figure it out alone. We’re here to give you the tools and support you need to reset and thrive this fall or anytime of year. We are offering new programs all of the time that can help.

Disclaimer: While Dr. Liz is a licensed psychologist, the information provided herein is intended solely for educational purposes. Services offered by Empowered Focus, LLC are not to be considered a substitute for mental health therapy. Individuals requiring mental health therapy are advised to seek support from a qualified mental health provider in their respective localities. A valuable resource for locating such providers is Psychology Today.

When Your Brain Isn’t “Braining” Anymore: Why Midlife Fog Hits So Hard (and What to Do About It)